Tech joke, mouse jammed

From:
Sent: Monday, March 27, 2007 9:07 AM
Subject: Techie Joke

Technical Support Needed


Caller : Hi, our printer is not working.
Customer Service : What is wrong with it?
Caller : Mouse is jammed.
Customer Service : Mouse? And how it is related to printer?
Caller : Mmmm... Wait, I will send a picture.

Friendship

From:

Sent: Monday, March 27, 2007 9:07 AM

Subject: Friendship

Do you know the relationship between two eyes..? They blink together, they move together, they cry together, they see things together and they sleep together but they never see each other. That’s what friendship is. But when a beautiful girl comes in front, one eye goes blink and the other remains open........................................

Moral of the story: Girls can break even the best of friendships.

Slow down culture

From:
Sent: Monday, March 26, 2007 9:07 AM
Subject: FW: Good Morning

An interesting reflection: Slow Down Culture

It's been 18 years since I joined Volvo, a Swedish company. Working for them has proven to be an interesting experience. Any project here takes 2 years to be finalized, even if the idea is simple and brilliant. It's a rule.

Globalize processes have caused in us (all over theworld) a general sense of searching for immediate results. Therefore, we have come to posses a need to see immediate results. This contrasts greatly with the slow movements of the Swedish. They, on the other hand, debate, debate, debate, hold x quantity of meetings and work with a slowdown scheme. At the end, this always yields better results.

Said in another words:

1. Sweden is about the size of San Pablo , a state in Brazil . 2. Sweden has 2 million inhabitants. 3.

Stockholm, has 500,000 people. 4. Volvo, Escania, Ericsson, Electrolux, Nokia are some of its renowned companies. Volvo supplies the NASA.

The first time I was in Sweden , one of my colleagues picked me up at the hotel every morning. It was September, bit cold and snowy. We would arrive early at the company and he would park far away from the entrance (2000 employees drive their car to work). The first day, I didn't say anything, either the second or third. One morning I asked, "Do you have a fixed parking space? I've noticed we park far from the entrance even when there are no other cars in the lot." To which he replied, "Since we're here early we'll have time to walk, and whoever gets in late will be late and need a place closer to the door. Don't you think? Imagine my face.

Nowadays, there's a movement in Europe name Slow Food.

This movement establishes that people should eat and drink slowly, with enough time to taste their food, spend time with the family, friends, without rushing.

Slow Food is against its counterpart: the spirit of Fast Food and what it stands for as a lifestyle. Slow Food is the basis for a bigger movement called Slow Europe, as mentioned by Business Week.

Basically, the movement questions the sense of "hurry"

and "craziness" generated by globalization, fueled by the desire of "having in quantity" (life status) versus "having with quality", "life quality" or the "quality of being". French people, even though they work 35 hours per week, are more productive than Americans or British. Germans have established 28.8 hour workweeks and have seen their productivity been driven up by 20%. This slow attitude has brought forth the US 's attention, pupils of the fast and the "do it now!".

This no-rush attitude doesn't represent doing less or having a lower productivity. It means working and doing things with greater quality, productivity, perfection, with attention to detail and less stress.It means reestablishing family values, friends, free and leisure time. Taking the "now", present and concrete, versus the "global", undefined and anonymous. It means taking humans' essential values, the simplicity of living.

It stands for a less coercive work environment, more happy, lighter and more productive where humans enjoy doing what they know best how to do. It's time to stop and think on how companies need to develop serious quality with no-rush that will increase productivity and the quality of products and services, without losing the essence of spirit.

In the movie, Scent of a Woman, there's a scene where Al Pacino asks a girl to dance and she replies, "I can't, my boyfriend will be here any minute now". To which Al responds, "A life is lived in an instant".

Then they dance to a tango.

Many of us live our lives running behind time, but we only reach it when we die of a heart attack or in a car accident rushing to be on time. Others are so anxious of living the future that they forget to live the present, which is the only time that truly exists.

We all have equal time throughout the world. No one has more or less. The difference lies in how each one of us does with our time. We need to live each moment.

As John Lennon said, "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans".

Congratulations for reading till the end of this message. There are many who will have stopped in the middle so as not to waste time in this globalize world.

Indian Cricket Team..

From:

Sent: Monday, March 26, 2007 10:47 AM

To:

Subject: FW: Heights!!

What did the spectator miss when he went to the toilet?

The entire Indian Innings.

Where do Indian batsmen perform there best?

In Advertisements.

When would Agarkar have 100 runs against his name?

When he is bowling.

What is the most proficient form of footwork displayed by Indian batsmen?

The walk back to the pavilion.

How to increase the chances of Indian batsmen playing out the entire 50 overs?

Try giving them two innings to begin with, then try three and so on.

What is the Indian version of a hat-trick?

3 runs in 3 balls.

What is the height of optimism ?

Sehwag coming out to bat applying sunscreen on his face.

Phone Call for Sehwag:

Indian Team Manager : "Hello"(over Phone)

Wife :"Can I talk to Sehwag, this is his wife."

Indian Team Manager:"Sorry, he is just going to bat"

Wife:"No Problem Manager, I will Hold on"

Sardarji joke

From:
Sent: Friday, March 09, 2007 3:33 PM
Subject: FW: Sardar - Back2Back!!

Rajiv and Mona are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation to celebrate their 40th anniversary.

Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing. Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the beach. However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives!"

Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island.

An hour later Rajiv turns to his wife and asks, "Mona, did we pay our Rs 5lakh deposit cheque yet to ICICI Bank?"

"No, sweetheart," she responds.

Rajiv, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks, "Mona, did we pay our ICICI Bank Master card yet?"

"Oh no! I'm sorry. I forgot to send the cheque," she says.

"One last thing, Mona. Did you remember to send cheques for the auto loan to them too this month?" he asks.

"Oh, forgive me, Rajiv," begged Mona. "I didn't send that one, either."

Rajiv grabs her and gives her the biggest kiss in 40 years. Mona pulls away and asks him, "So, why did you kiss me?"

Rajiv answers, "They'll surely find us!"

Smart Indian..

From:
Sent: Thursday, March 22, 2007 5:55 PM
Subject: FW: Smart Indian !!!!

This is not a story but a true incident that happened in USA.*
An Indian walked into a bank in New York City one day and asked for
the loan officer.
He told the loan officer that he was going to India on business for two
weeks and needed to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer told him that the bank would need some form of
security for the loan. The Indian man handed
over the keys to a new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the
bank. He produced the title and everything
checked out.
The loan officer agreed to accept the car as collateral for the loan.
The bank\'s president and its officers all enjoyed a good laugh at the
Indian for using a $250,000 Ferrari as
collateral against a $5,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then drove the Ferrari into the bank\'s
underground garage and parked it there.
Two weeks later, the Indian returned, repaid the $5,000 and the
interest, which came to $15.41.
The loan officer said, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your
business, and this transaction has worked out very
nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked
you out and found that you are a multi
millionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow
"$5,000"
The Indian replied: "Where else in New York City can I park my car for
two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to
be there when I return\'"
Ah, the brain of the Indian... This is why India is shining !!!!!

The Guy's Rules

From:
Sent: Friday, September 08, 2006 3:41 PM
To:
Subject: FW: Nice one....Especially for GIRLS !!!



THE GUYS' RULES
AT LAST A GUY HAS TAKEN THE TIME TO WRITE THIS ALL DOWN

FINALLY , THE GUYS' SIDE OF THE STORY.
(I MUST ADMIT, IT'S PRETTY GOOD.)
WE ALWAYS HEAR " THE RULES "
FROM THE FEMALE SIDE.


NOW HERE ARE THE RULES FROM THE MALE SIDE.
THESE ARE OUR RULES!
PLEASE NOTE.. THESE ARE ALL NUMBERED "1"
ON PURPOSE!


1. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.


1. SHOPPING IS NOT A SPORT.
AND NO, WE ARE NEVER GOING TO THINK OF IT THAT WAY.

1. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL.

1. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT.
LET US BE CLEAR ON THIS ONE:
SUBTLE HINTS DO NOT WORK!
STRONG HINTS DO NOT WORK!
OBVIOUS HINTS DO NOT WORK!
JUST SAY IT!

1. YES AND NO ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS TO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION.

1. COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM ONLY IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. THAT'S WHAT WE DO.
SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR.

1. A HEADACHE THAT LASTS FOR 17 MONTHS IS A PROBLEM.
SEE A DOCTOR.

1. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT.
IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS.

1. IF YOU WON'T DRESS LIKE THE VICTORIA'S SECRET GIRLS, DON'T EXPECT US TO ACT LIKE SOAP OPERA GUYS.

1. IF YOU THINK YOU'RE FAT, YOU PROBABLY ARE.
DON'T ASK US.

1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE other one

1. YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO SOMETHING
OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE.
NOT BOTH.
IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO DO IT, JUST DO IT YOURSELF.

1. WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY DURING COMMERCIALS.

1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE.

1. ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLORS, LIKE WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS.
PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT, NOT A COLOR. PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT. WE HAVE no IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.
1. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY "NOTHING," WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING'S WRONG.
WE KNOW YOU ARE LYING, BUT IT IS JUST NOT WOR TH THE HASSLE.

1. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON'T WANT AN ANSWER TO, EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR.

1. WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS FINE. REALLY .

1. DON'T ASK US WHAT WE'RE THINKING ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DISCUSS SUCH TOPICS AS BASEBALL, THE SHOTGUN FORMATION,
OR GOLF.

1. YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES.

1. YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES.

1. I AM IN SHAPE. ROUND IS A SHAPE!

1. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS.
YES, I KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH TONIGHT;


BUT DID YOU KNOW MEN REALLY DON'T MIND THAT? IT'S LIKE CAMPING.

PASS THIS TO AS MANY MEN AS YOU CAN -
TO GIVE THEM A LAUGH.

PASS THIS TO AS MANY WOMEN AS YOU CAN -
TO GIVE THEM A BIGGER LAUGH!

Sardar studying j2ee stuffs

From:
Sent: Thursday, March 22, 2007 11:11 AM
Subject: FW: Sardar studying j2ee stuffs....(Really Nice one)

Sardar Vs J2EE

Q. How will you call an Applet from a Java Script?

A. I will give invitation Card.


Q. What is JVM ?

A. Jilebi, Vada & Maaza


Q. Explain 2 tier and 3 -tier Architecture ?

A. Two wheelers like scooters will have 2 tyres and autorickshaws will have

3 tyres.

;

Q. I want to store more than 10 objects in a remote server ? Which

methodology will follow ?

A. Send it through courier.


Q. Can I modify an object in CORBA ?

A. As you wish , I do not have any objections.


Q. How to communicate 2 threads each other ?

A. Non living things can't communicate.


Q. What is meant by flickering ?

A. Closing and opening of eyes at girls.


Q. Explain RMI Architecture?

A. I am a computer professional not an architect student.


Q. What is the use of Servlets ?

A. In hotels, they can replace servers.


Q. What is the dif ference between Process and Threads ?

A. Threads are small ropes. Make a rope from threads is an example for

process.


Q. When is update method called ?

A. Who is update method?


Q. What is JAR file ?

A. File that can be kept inside a jar.


Q. What is JINI ?

A. A ghost which was Aladdin's friend.


Q. How you can know about drivers and database information ?

A. I will go and enquire in the bus depot.


Q. What is serialization ?

A. Arranging one after the other from left to right.


Q. What is bean ? Where it can be used ?

A. A kind of vegetable. In kitchens for cooking they can be used.


Q. Write down how will you create a binary Tree ?

A. When we sow a binary seed , a binary tree will grow.


Q. What is the exact difference between Unicast and Multicast object ?

A. If in a society, if there is only one caste, then it is Unicast, else it

is multicast

To make women happy

From:
Sent: Thursday, January 25, 2007 5:24 PM
Subject: FW: this is a good one...lolz

Hilarious...!!!

In the world of romance, one single rule applies to men:

Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points.

Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.

You don't get any points for doing something she expects.

Sorry, that's the way the game is played.

Here is a guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES

You make the bed (+1)

You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)

You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)

You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) In the rain (+8) But return

with

Beer (-5)

You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)

You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)

You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)

You pummel it with iron rod (+10)

It's her pet (-10)

SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS

You stay by her side the entire party (0)

You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college

buddy

(-2)

Named Rita (-4)

Rita is a dancer (-6)

Rita is single and is really beautiful (-80)

HER BIRTHDAY

You forget her birthday (-50000)

You take her out to dinner (0)

You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)

Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)

And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)

It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted

the

colours of your favourite team (-10)

A NIGHT OUT

You take her to a movie (+2)

You take her to a movie she likes (+4)

You take her to a movie you hate (+6)

You take her to a movie you like (-2)

It's called 'DeathCop' (-3)

You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

ENJOY THE 'BIG' QUESTION

She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT]

You hesitate in responding (-10)

You reply, "Where?" (-35)

Any other response (-20)

COMMUNICATION

When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what

looks

like a concerned __expression (0)

You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)

You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)

She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)

Now what chance do you have???

Elderly woes

From:
Sent: Wednesday, January 24, 2007 5:12 PM
Subject: elderly woes ( joke)

SENIORS GIVING BIRTH

With all the new technology regarding
Fertility recently, a 65-year-old woman was
able to give birth to a baby.

When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, her relatives came to visit.

'May we see the new baby?" one asked.

"Not yet," said the mother. "I'll make coffee
and we can visit for awhile first."
Thirty minutes had passed, and another
relative asked, "May we see the new baby now?"

"No, not yet," said the mother.
After another few minutes had elapsed, they
asked again, "May we see the baby now?"

"No, not yet," replied the mother.

Growing very impatient, they asked, "Well,
when can we see the baby?"

"WHEN HE CRIES!" she told them.

"WHEN HE CRIES?" they demanded. "Why do we have to wait until he cries?"

"BECAUSE I FORGOT WHERE I PUT HIM. O.K.?????"

Have a Super day

Don't ever be reluctant to show your feelings when you're happy, give in to it. When you're not, live with it. Don't ever be afraid to try to make things better you might be surprised at the results. Don't ever feel threatened by the future, take life one day at a time. Don't ever feel guilty about the past what's done is done, just learn from any mistakes you might have made. Don't ever feel that you are alone there is always somebody there for you to reach out to, like me. Don't ever forget that you can achieve so many of the things you can imagine. It's not as hard as it may seem. Don't ever stop loving don't ever stop believing and don't ever stop dreaming your dreams. Have A Super Day

Definitions of designations

From:
Sent: Monday, January 22, 2007 10:29 AM
To:
Subject: FW: Definitions....u must understand the concept

New definition of designations at office

1) Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in One month.

2) Project Developer is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a Baby.

3) Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.

4) Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.

5) Resource Optimization Team thinks they don't need a man or woman; they'll just produce a child with zero resources.

6) Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with the PROCESS to produce a baby.

7) Tester is a person who always tells his wife that this is not the Right baby

8) Documentation Team thinks they don't care whether the child is delivered or not, they'll just document 9 months

9) Customer Service Manager - the one holding baby without contibuting to the delivery or related

and finally........

..

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

10) Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby.

Voted 'e-mail of the year'

From:
Sent: Tuesday, March 06, 2007 10:04 AM
To:
Subject: FW: Voted 'e-mail of the year

Voted 'e-mail of the year' I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying: "Hi, how are you?" I'm not the type to start a conversation in the men's restroom but I don't know what got into me, so I answered, somewhat embarrassed, "Doin' just fine!" And the other guy says: "So what are you up to?" What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so I say: "Uhhh, I'm like you, just travelling!" At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question. "Can I come over?" Ok, this question is just too weird for me but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation. I tell him, "No........I'm a little busy right now!!!" Then I hear the guy say nervously... "Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions!!!"

Great Software Quotes

From:
Sent: Friday, March 16, 2007 7:09 PM
To:
Subject: Fw: Great Software Quotes.......If you have some spare time!

Great Software Quotes …. !!!

UNIX is simple. But It just needs a genius to understand its simplicity.

--Dennis Ritchie

Before software can be reusable, it first has to be usable.

--Ralph Johnson

Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.

--Fred Brooks

Theory is when you know something, but it doesn't work. Practice is when something works, but you don't know why it works. Programmers combine theory and practice: Nothing works and they don't know why.

It's hard enough to find an error in your code when you're looking for it; it's even harder when you've assumed your code is error-free.

-Steve McConnell Code Complete

If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilisation.

-Gerald Weinberg

The Six Phases of a Project:

Enthusiasm

Disillusionment

Panic

Search for the Guilty

Punishment of the Innocent

Praise for non-participants

Good code is its own best documentation. As you're about to add a comment, ask yourself, 'How can I improve the code so that this comment isn't needed?' Improve the code and then document it to make it even clearer.

--Steve McConnell Code Complete

The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.

--Bertrand Russell

No matter how slick (efficient) the demo is in rehearsal, when you do it in front of a live audience the probability of a flawless presentation is inversely proportional to the number of people watching, raised to the power of the amount of money involved.

One of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empirewas that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.

--Robert Firth

Fifty years of programming language research and we end up with C++?

--Richard A. O'Keefe

C programmers never die. They are just cast into void.

If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.

--Edsger Dijkstra

You can either have software quality or you can have pointer arithmetic, but you cannot have both at the same time.

--(Bertrand Meyer)

(Thoughtful...)

There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third works.

--Alan J. Perlis

Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring aircraft building progress by weight.

--Bill Gates

The first 90% of the code accounts for the first 90% of the development time. The remaining 10% of the code accounts for the other 90% of the development time.

--Tom Cargill

Programmers are in a race with the Universe to create bigger and better idiot-proof programs, while the Universe is trying to create bigger and better idiots. So far the Universe is winning.

--Anon

As soon as we started programming, we found to our surprise that it wasn't as easy to get programs right as we had thought. Debugging had to be discovered. I can remember the exact instant when I realized that a large part of my life from then on was going to be spent in finding mistakes in my own programs.

--Maurice Wilkes discovers debugging, 1949

I did say something along the lines of "C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows your whole leg off."

--Bjarne Stroustrup

It has been said that the great scientific disciplines are examples of giants standing on the shoulders of other giants. It has also been said that the software industry is an example of midgets standing on the toes of other midgets.

--Alan Cooper About Face

Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.

--Pablo Picasso

If the code and the comments disagree, then both are probably wrong.

--attributed to Norm Schryer

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

--Will Rogers

Einstein argued that there must be simplified explanations of nature, because God is not capricious or arbitrary. No such faith comforts the software engineer .

--Fred Brooks, Jr.

As we said in the preface to the first edition, C "wears well as one's experience with it grows." With a decade more experience, we still feel that way.

--Brian Kernighan and Dennis Ritchie

Simplicity is prerequisite for reliability --Edsger W.Dijkstra

I've finally learned what "upward compatible" means. It means we get to keep all our old mistakes.

--Dennie van Tassel

Rules of Optimization:

Rule 1: Don't do it.

Rule 2 (for experts only): Don't do it yet.

--M.A. Jackson

Most software today is very much like an Egyptian pyramid with millions of bricks piled on top of each other, with no structural integrity, but just done by brute force and thousands of slaves.

--Alan Kay

Every program has (at least) two purposes: the one for which it was written, and another for which it wasn't.

--Alan J. Perlis

Technology is dominated by two types of people: Those who understand what they do not manage. Those who manage what they do not understand.

--Putt's Law

Copy and paste is a design error

--David Parnas

Any code of your own that you haven't looked at for six or more months might as well have been written by someone else.

--Eagleson's law

The primary duty of an exception handler is to get the error out of the lap of the programmer and into the surprised face of the user. Provided you keep this cardinal rule in mind, you can't go far wrong.

--Verity Stob

Thought For the Day..!

From:

Sent: Tuesday, March 13, 2007 10:39 AM
Subject: FW: Thought For the Day..!

Good Morning..!

A sculptor made a statue of God in a single rock. The withered parts of the rock were used to make the foot steps of the temple. The foot step asked the statue “Brother we are from the same rock, but you are worshipped and I am stamped, why?

The Statue said, I can with stood thousands of hit by the sculptor. But you withered by a single hit, that’s why I am worshipped and you are not.

Good Morning Friends...!

From:

Sent: Tuesday, March 13, 2007 10:25 AM
To:
Subject: FW: Good Morning Friends...!

Good Morning Have a nice day
People laugh because I am different. And I laugh because they are all the same…
That’s called ATTITUDE - Swami Vivekananda

Change your Point Of View!!

From:

Sent: Tuesday, March 13, 2007 10:05 AM
To:
Subject: FW: Change your Point Of View!!

Hi

This is yet another forward ..

For those who have read this already ,it is worth reading again ..

And for those who have not read , it is fantastic .!

Simple yet thought provoking article ..

In a nutshell .it gives a a msg ‘ live simple ,think simple ‘ in a more simple way …

Cheers

There was a millionaire who was bothered by severe eye pain.





He consulted so many physicians and was getting his treatment
done. He did not stop consulting galaxy of medical experts; he consumed
heavy loads of drugs and underwent hundreds of injections.


But the ache persisted with great vigour than before. At last a monk
who has supposed to be an expert in treating such patients was
called for by the millionaire.





The monk understood his problem and said that for sometime he
should concentrate only on green colours and not to fall his eyes on any
other colours.


The millionaire got together a group of painters and purchased
barrels of green color and directed that every object his eye was likely
to fall to be painted in green colour just as the
monk had directed.



When the monk came to visit him after few days, the
millionaire's servants ran with buckets of green paints and poured on him
since he was in red dress, lest their master not see any other colour and
his eye ache would come back.


Hearing this monk laughed said "If only you had purchased a pair of
green spectacles, worth just a few rupees, you could have saved
these walls and trees and pots and all other articles and also could
have saved a large share of his fortune.


You cannot paint the world green." Let us change our vision and the
world will appear accordingly. It is foolish to shape the world, let us
shape ourselves first.



Lets change our vision..!!


********

Think simple,Live simple..


********

Salary Levels

From:

Sent: Friday, March 09, 2007 2:15 PM
To:
Subject:

Salary levels during the final placements at the 'younger' Indian Institutes of Management like Kozhikode, Indore and Lucknow have risen by 30-44 percent this year. The largest recruiters this year comprised banking and consulting companies. The same trend was seen in prominent B-schools like XLRI too.

IIM-Indore: The batch of 115 students at IIM-Indore -- the youngest of the six IIMs -- received a total of 329 offers, including 12 international ones. Around 67 companies participated in the final placements process, out of which 29 companies were first time recruiters. Average salary levels increased by nearly 45 percent. The highest domestic salary was Rs 18 lakh per year as compared with Rs 12.5 lakh last year -- an increase of 44 percent. On the international front, the highest salary was $110,000 (around Rs 50 lakh) offered by Infosys. The largest recruiters this time were consulting firms with 25 percent of the students opting for consulting companies.

IIM-Kozhikode: At the institute, 431 offers were made to 155 students of the 2007 batch. Around 88 companies participated in the recruitment process out of which 34 were first-timers. International salary level shot up by as much as 57 percent at $110,000 (around Rs 50 lakh) per annum against $70,000 (Rs 31.5 lakh) last year. The domestic salary figure recorded an increase of 32 percent at Rs 22 lakh per annum against Rs 16.67 lakh last year. Even at IIM-Kozhikode, over 25 percent of the batch chose jobs with consultancy firms. Around 21 students received international offers for the US, Europe, West Asia and countries in the Asia-Pacific Region. Cognizant (15 offers), JP Morgan Chase (13 offers), Deloitte (9 offers) and Accenture Business Consulting (5 offers) were the biggest recruiters on campus this year.

IIM Lucknow: This institute too saw its salary levels shoot up by 40 percent. With a graduating batch of 280 students, IIM Lucknow's final placements saw an increase of 35-40 percent in the salary levels. Students, however, gave more importance to the nature of job profiles that were offered. Around 554 offers were made to 280 students, including 28 international offers. Companies like McKinsey & Co, AT Kearney, Ernst & Young, Accenture, Deloitte Consulting, KPMG, PriceWaterhouseCoopers, TSMG, TAS and Bristlecone visited the campus for final placements.

XLRI: The campus recruitment process at XLRI this year saw a 50 percent rise in average salary offered by the biggest companies across industries. The average salary offered was Rs 12.6 lakh per annum, while the median was Rs 13.06 lakh per annum, reflecting the placement performance of this institute. The lowest salary offered at the institute was Rs 8.6 lakh per annum, while highest domestic salary offered was Rs 16 lakh per annum. There were 10 foreign offers, with an average of $85000 (around Rs 38 lakh) and a highest of $100,000 (around Rs 50 lakh). Consulting majors made a beeline to XLRI, making 24 per cent of the offers.

Obituary

From:

Sent: Friday, March 09, 2007 5:09 PM
To:
Subject: Obituary

Hi,

With heart felt grief and a heavy throat, I am announcing the untimely demise of our beloved friends - Pinkoo and Dinkoo - the lovely Cockroaches in our coffee vending machines.

Pinkoo used to live in the dark corners of the Nescafe machine of the EMEA cafeteria. His best friend Dinkoo lived in - the home across the road - in the LIPTON machine.
While Pinkoo was roaming around for groceries in the internal cups of the Nescafe' machine yesterday, one of my colleagues unwittingly pushed the tea serving button - In a flash, the cockroach was flushed into the cup, only to be later found as an Elaichi-like-thing in the mouth....

Fortunately, the dead body was rescued, and post mortem revealed "Death due to negligence", and my dear colleague has not been accused of the crime.
The body of our beloved Pinkoo was cremated with full state honours, and 21 gun salute.



However, little did we know that Dinkoo would not be able to bear this personal loss... and in utter grief, has committed suicide today by jumping into my "lemon tea" cup. (Lipton machine)

Strange are the ways of life... 2 losses in 2 consecutive days.... I cannot help but appreciate the sense of together in Pinkoo and Dinkoo... While most of the people in the world now-a-days Use friends and even family members for their benefits.... some people live their entire lives for the cause of others, and even share their destinies.