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'Witticisms' Of 9 Condemned Criminals

Sent: Monday, May 14, 2007 11:48 AM
Subject: FW: 'Witticisms' Of 9 Condemned Criminals

1. GEORGE APPEL (electrocuted in 1928)

As he was being strapped into the electric chair Appel quipped, 'Well, folks, you'll soon see a baked Appel.'

2. JESSE WALTER BISHOP (gassed in 1979)

The last man to die in Nevada's gas chamber, Bishop's final words were, 'I've always wanted to try everything once . . . Let's go!'

3. GUY CLARK (hanged in 1832)

On the way to the gallows the sheriff told Clark to speed up the pace. Clark replied, 'Nothing will happen until I get there.'

4. JAMES DONALD FRENCH (electrocuted in 1966)

Turning to a newsman on his way to the electric chair, French helpfully suggested, 'I have a terrific headline for you in the morning. "French Fries".'

5. ROBERT ALTON HARRIS (gassed in 1992)

The last person to die in the gas chamber at San Quentin, Harris issued a final statement through the prison warden that stated, 'You can be a king or a street-sweeper, but everybody dances with the Grim Reaper.' The quote was inspired by a line from the film Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey.

6. WILLIAM PALMER (hanged in 1856)

As he stepped onto the gallows Palmer looked at the trapdoor and exclaimed, 'Are you sure it's safe?'

7. SIR WALTER RALEIGH (beheaded in 1618)

Feeling the edge of the axe soon to be used on him, Raleigh said, ''Tis a sharp remedy but a sure one for all ills.'

8. JAMES W. RODGERS (shot in 1960)

Asked if he had a last request, Rodgers stated, 'Why yes - a bulletproof vest.'

9. FREDERICK CHARLES WOOD (electrocuted in 1963)
Sitting down in the electric chair Wood said, 'Gentlemen, you are about to see the effects of electricity upon wood.'


Whatta Reply

Sent: Wednesday, May 02, 2007 10:12 AM
Subject: FW: Whatta Reply....

It was a hot meeting at the office conference hall. All the people from the department had been called. The VP was looking much tensed.

The mood was so bad. My friend asked me -"Hey, what is this meeting all about? I told - May be they will decide on when to have the next meeting. People around smiled at each other. Then the VP started talking. It was about the recent attrition rate that was so high. Around 10 people had put in their papers. All experienced guys. It was quarter end and so work was huge. If we do not complete the work on time, we need to be paying heavy penalty said the VP. The VP turned to the manager and told "Hey - take how much ever resources you want. Recruit or take them from other departments. But complete the work in another 25 days. Take people and complete it man.

To this the sweet manager replied "Sir! Give me one wife and nine months and I shall show you results. Don't give me nine wives and one month. I cannot do anything." Everyone looked at him blank. The VP was not prepared for this answer. We looked at the manager and thought "What an Awesome Reply man!"

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